Welcome to that magical time of year when the sun is actively trying to murder you, and yet your group chat still thinks “we’re on for 5:30?” is a reasonable question. If you’ve ever looked at a pickleball court shimmering in the heat like a desert mirage and thought, “I might actually die out here,” this post is for you.

Here are the telltale signs it’s too damn hot for pickleball — plus some survival gear that’ll help you fake it until fall.

🥵 You know it’s too hot for pickleball when…

  1. You bring three shirts to the court and sweat through all of them before warmups.
    • Bonus: One of them was mesh. Didn’t help.
  2. The ball is melting faster than your will to compete.
    • You swear it was round when the match started.
  3. Your paddle handle is now as slick as a watermelon seed.
    • And you did try the overgrip. It’s now soup.
  4. You showed up with a full-size Stanley and still ran out of water.
    • Next time: bring a camel.
  5. Someone says, “Let’s play one more game,” and your soul leaves your body.
    • You nod. But only because your neck muscles have seized.
  6. The only person thriving is the guy who brought a personal fan and cooling towel combo.
    • And now he’s your idol.
  7. You try to high-five after a point but your hands fuse together.
    • That’s friendship now. Forever.
  8. The court surface is radiating so much heat it starts to feel like emotional abuse.
    • “Pickleball is fun,” they said.

💪 Gear That Might Actually Help

Let’s face it: if you’re gonna be stubborn and play through the heatwave, you might as well come prepared.

❄️ Cooling Towels That Actually Work

FROGG TOGGS Chill Pad — Just soak, wring, and drape this thing over your neck like the sweaty royalty you are.

🌮 Portable Neck Fan

JISULIFE Portable Neck Fan — Yes, you’ll look like a futuristic mall walker. No, you won’t care when you’re the only one not wilting.

☕️ Electrolyte Rebooters

Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier — Stick it in your Stanley, chug, repeat. Your kidneys will thank you.

🚪 Oversized Pickleball Hats

Furtalk Wide Brim Hat — Like a personal shade tree that also says, “I’m here to dink and not die.”

Final Thoughts (Before You Spontaneously Combust)

Summer pickleball isn’t for the faint of heart. But with a little gear, a lot of hydration, and maybe a cold bourbon afterward, you just might survive the season.

Tag a friend who refuses to cancel even when it’s surface-of-the-sun hot

Stay cool out there, legends. 💪🏐️🌧️