You show up to the courts expecting the usual: sweaty serves, questionable foot faults, and That Guy explaining the kitchen like it’s the Bermuda Triangle.

But then you see him.

White crew socks. Calves of granite. Paddle older than your mortgage. A simple, no-logo hat. The unmistakable tan of someone who plays six days a week.

🫵 Enter: The Old Man

He doesn’t talk much. He doesn’t warm up. He doesn’t even drink water.

But he shows up. Every. Single. Day.

He tells you he’s “just here to move around a little.” Then proceeds to hit a backhand drop that violates the laws of physics.

⛳ His Signature Moves:

  • The Drop Dink That Deflates Your Soul
  • The Drive That Hugs the Net Like It Owes Him Money
  • The Casual Lob That Ruins Your Week

He never celebrates. Never trash talks. Never tells you what you’re doing wrong.

He just grins. Like a man who knows the paddle isn’t the most expensive one on Amazon, but it works just fine.

🕰 Things You Might Hear Him Say:

  • “You ready to run, young fella?”
  • “You sure it’s not your ball? I didn’t move.”
  • “Good hustle. For a Thursday.”

And then he casually wins 11-4.

🥇 Why He’s the Best

  • Never makes you feel dumb
  • Always makes you feel welcome
  • Treats pickleball like cardio, not combat
  • Drops dad-level zingers without breaking stride

He’s the reason you come back. Not just because you want to beat him someday. But because you hope to be him someday.

So here’s to the quiet king of court three. No paddle emoji can match his wisdom. No Instagram drill can teach what he knows.

You’re a legend, sir. And we’re all just trying to earn your approval, one dink at a time.