“I thought we were playing Doubles?” —You, after three games of cardio-less spectating.

—You, after three games of cardio-less spectating.

You warmed up. You hydrated. You even wore your intimidating wristbands. But now here you are—three points in, and you’ve touched the ball exactly once, and that was when it rolled under your foot during a side change.

👀 The Ghost Player Phenomenon

There’s always one in every doubles match. The “silent sidekick.” The human cone. The designated observer. Maybe your partner is just that good. Or maybe they’re trying to prove something to their ex watching from the bleachers. Either way, you’re essentially just there to keep score and clap politely.

🎾 Common Symptoms

  • You’re apologizing for “being in the way” even when you haven’t moved.
  • Your paddle is still clean. Like, *shiny* clean.
  • You start cheering for your partner out of pure boredom.
  • You consider leaving mid-match to get snacks. No one would notice.

💡 So What Can You Do?

Here’s how to survive (and maybe even thrive) when you’re just a glorified net post:

  • Politely Communicate: “Hey, I’m open too” goes a long way (even if you whisper it). Or just fake sneeze the word “BALANCE.”
  • Poach Like a Legend: Next time they hesitate on a shot? Boom. You’re there. Surprise them. Assert your relevance.
  • Change Partners: Next round, buddy. This isn’t doubles, it’s emotional tennis.
  • Buy Time: If nothing else, browse new paddles on Amazon during the side switch. You’ve got plenty of affiliate-approved options 😉

🛍️ RP Pickleball Pick of the Day

If you’re going to be standing around, at least do it in comfort. We recommend the Fila Pickleball Performance Hat—lightweight, moisture-wicking, and subtle enough to hide your silent weeping.

🔥 Final Word

Being the forgotten doubles partner happens to the best of us. Next time, pick a partner who actually knows you exist—or show up solo and dominate like the reluctant pickle warrior you are.

More awkward truths, sarcasm, and gear recommendations await at ReluctantPickle.com. Catch you at the kitchen line—if they ever let you near it.